Well, I guess that's the point. To find meaning in the words. To share my experience and thoughts and ponderings on the road and hopefully help someone else along the way. I'm no expert by any means, I'm just an average woman on the move with her family, trying to keep everything together.
One thing I've wondered along the way is that if we weren't so damn afeared of each other, the world would be a much simpler place. Don't get me wrong, I've seen moments of compassion and good throughout the journey. But only from the little folk like us. The big guys--the banks and businesses--they're all about production and rising to the top and staying on top. They don't even let the little folk have a chance to stand up. What they so afraid of? We're all in the same boat. And once we crossed to California, well, an afeared man turns into a cruel men. Those officers with power like to remind us just how small we really are. Cruelty only fuels more cruelty.
And when I really think about it, I guess that's why I cling to the family so much. Without loyalty and commitment to your own blood, what do you got? We don't owe nothing but the things we carry, we barely have a penny to our name. But at least we got each other. Or, what's left of each other. Besides blood, we are part of a larger family, connected to all the migrants that share a similar story as us. It was so nice spending some time at that government camp and being a part of sumthing again. Everyone collectively contributing to sharing what little they had with them will forever have a lasting effect on me. I wished we coulda stayed their long, but we had to keep moving.
Sometimes I find myself wondering 'bout God and what I even believe anymore. Maybe Jim Casy (bless his soul) has influenced me too much...but I ponder why he's making us suffer so. Is there a reason? Can there be reason? I wish he'd a just sent us a sign.
Regardless, we try to stay hopeful through it all. As hopeful as we can in a situation such as ours. Food is lower by the day, the children are getting skinnier by the day, their innocence continuing to be lost. Still, I have to believe that things will get better.
Otherwise, what's the point?
Fear no, Ma. Clearly, you represent strength in crisis, the power of (all) women who single-handedly lead their families to not just survival but a moral center along the way. Your sacrifice is bound for reward, Ma Joad... :)
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